Thursday, October 18, 2007

Becks Shall Remain Clothed…. For Now!

Maybe we should move the chains around a little. Set less lofty goals. Like, instead of trying to win a game, maybe we should try to get above 700 points in a match or maybe we should just practice a bit more. Roll some balls on other nights of the week.

Or maybe…(this is still a theory and it hasn’t been tested) but there appears to be a direct correlation between drinks consumed and skee-ball rolling ability. The more we consume, the better we roll. But how many drinks and what type of drink will be the perfect combination that produces a stellar game? And will each roller need a customized combination? When’s the cut off point? Is it when a roller is telling child molester jokes or when they are no longer rolling in their lane? And if the perfect combination is mastered, is it considered a performance-enhancing drug? Thirty-two years from now will we be defending our skee-ball glory days by claiming that we thought it was flaxseed oil that we were drinking? While there are several possible consequences to exploring this theory (headaches, blurred vision, slurred speech, future drug accusations, etc.) I think it’s worth a shot if it means we have a chance to win a game and take off some of Becks clothes. So let’s do it. Let’s start this study at our next game. If not for a chance to win at skee-ball then let’s do it for science and all of mankind.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Would You Skee Like A God If The Reward Is Seeing David Beckham’s Package?

Ok so we lost last night buuuuuuuuuut we played really well, it was a very close game and we finally broke 600. So… as team captain I have found a way to motivate the Ball Busters to really step it up in our upcoming games. This technique was created for a little team called the Cleveland Indians (maybe you’ve heard of them). They were once also called bush league and they went on to win the division title! So I’m pretty sure it will work for us. I present you with David Beckham – The Motivator. That’s right ladies, all you have to do is win a game and a piece of Beckham’s clothes come off. From his sweatband to his pretty pink briefs, DB is ready to support the Ball Busters! The question is; are you ready to support DB?

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

There’s a New Ball Buster In Town

Meet Cindy Lou, aka “The Ringer.” She’s The Ball Buster’s newest alternate and she’s ready to tear shit up! She’s petite but man does she know how to score points. After last weeks loss (of sorts – we still feel like winners and I feel like a double-jointed god) we decided it was time to bring in the big guns. So check out her form in this youtube video and as soon as we can get a silly little ID situation sorted out, you will be able to see her roll with The Ball Busters on Wednesday nights. And for those of you who are hoping we will make it to the championship this skeeson, I have great news. We are currently not in last place sooooooooo, I’m saying there’s a chance.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Another Skeeson, Another Chance For Glory!

Tonight we take on Monica Lewinskee 3 and I hope those ladies (or gents) are prepared, because there’s no way to sleep your way to the top in this match. (Get it? Monica Lewinskee and sleeping to the top? eh? eh? nothing?)

In case you missed it, The Ball Busters effortlessly took last place in our rookie skeeson and we're positive that there is no place to go but up this skeeson. Why? Because along the heartbreaking road to last place, we learned some things about skeeball, each other a little bit about ourselves.

We learned that we need to get the balls in the holes with the numbers on it and the higher numbers are better. That 2.5 drinks will improve your roll. That Benson doesn’t like to share beavers. That cheering is contagious annnnnnd slightly obnoxious. That wearing sunglasses at night is only cool if your Corey Hart. And most importantly we learned what it means to be Ball Busters! Put em' in the holes tonight ladies and lets start this skeeson off with a win!